Wednesday, October 08, 2003 |
Men and Lingerie shops don't mix
There are a few shops in which a man may feel comfortable. The hardware store, the music store, the electronics store and that's about it.
All else falls under the woman's domain.
There is one shop however that men have absolutely no place in. That place is the Lingerie store.
Guys who have never ventured into one (or been dragged into one) may think that it might be fun to go in and have a look. After all the walls are adorned with pictures of sexy models wearing even sexier underwear. What keeps them out however is the fear of looking like a pervert.
There is in fact a rational reason for this fear. It's because you do look like a pervert.
Before daring to enter a den of female superiority such as this, you must be prepared. There are a few rules you must abide by to ensure that the amused glances of passers by happening to see you squirming uncomfortably in the shop do not transform into the disgusted stares of an angry mob of onlookers.
Firstly and MOST importantly DO NOT put your hands in your pockets! I can not stress this enough. I assume the reason for this is clear enough. This rule can be sometimes hard to abide by and I don't mean in a George Michael, public toilet kind of way. Since it will be a nervous situation for a male, he may fidget and look for somewhere to put his hands. Constant vigilance is required to ensure that they are not sub consciously placed in the pockets.
Secondly but also very important; Do not wear an over coat or a trench coat. A chilly Winter's day may force you to wear one outside but you better make sure that sucker is not on when you get in there.
Thirdly but still quite important is what you will answer when she asks, "What do you think of this one?" The answer to this should be one of the following, "It's not bad" or "That would look very sexy on you" or if timed properly you could try "Anything on you would look beautiful".
Of course after the questions are answered and a short list made comes the worst part for any guy in a Lingerie shop. Hanging around while she goes out the back to try things on.
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to avoid the fact that you will be standing there looking pathetic and impotent holding her hand bag, desperately searching for a place to avert your eyes while attempting to give off the impression that you are not perving on the underwear models.
There is one way to avoid this embarrassing situation. Make sure you bring the kids shopping.
Sadly for my male brethren who are yet to have kids I can offer no protection. It must be accepted along with death and taxes.
Considerable solace may be gained however in the "fashion show" that usually occurs shortly after getting home.
There are a few shops in which a man may feel comfortable. The hardware store, the music store, the electronics store and that's about it.
All else falls under the woman's domain.
There is one shop however that men have absolutely no place in. That place is the Lingerie store.
Guys who have never ventured into one (or been dragged into one) may think that it might be fun to go in and have a look. After all the walls are adorned with pictures of sexy models wearing even sexier underwear. What keeps them out however is the fear of looking like a pervert.
There is in fact a rational reason for this fear. It's because you do look like a pervert.
Before daring to enter a den of female superiority such as this, you must be prepared. There are a few rules you must abide by to ensure that the amused glances of passers by happening to see you squirming uncomfortably in the shop do not transform into the disgusted stares of an angry mob of onlookers.
Firstly and MOST importantly DO NOT put your hands in your pockets! I can not stress this enough. I assume the reason for this is clear enough. This rule can be sometimes hard to abide by and I don't mean in a George Michael, public toilet kind of way. Since it will be a nervous situation for a male, he may fidget and look for somewhere to put his hands. Constant vigilance is required to ensure that they are not sub consciously placed in the pockets.
Secondly but also very important; Do not wear an over coat or a trench coat. A chilly Winter's day may force you to wear one outside but you better make sure that sucker is not on when you get in there.
Thirdly but still quite important is what you will answer when she asks, "What do you think of this one?" The answer to this should be one of the following, "It's not bad" or "That would look very sexy on you" or if timed properly you could try "Anything on you would look beautiful".
Of course after the questions are answered and a short list made comes the worst part for any guy in a Lingerie shop. Hanging around while she goes out the back to try things on.
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to avoid the fact that you will be standing there looking pathetic and impotent holding her hand bag, desperately searching for a place to avert your eyes while attempting to give off the impression that you are not perving on the underwear models.
There is one way to avoid this embarrassing situation. Make sure you bring the kids shopping.
Sadly for my male brethren who are yet to have kids I can offer no protection. It must be accepted along with death and taxes.
Considerable solace may be gained however in the "fashion show" that usually occurs shortly after getting home.
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