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The Good Ol' Days


Thursday, February 26, 2004




It's now safe to shake my hand

My youngest boy is now using the toilet instead of wearing nappies.

As well as this being a momentous step in his development, there is also a massive benefit to me.

Basically, the number of times my hands will need to descend into a large white bucket filled with human urine, faeces, cloth and bleach are almost zero.

One of the humorous parts of the process however is the enormous fuss you need to make every time they go to the toilet.

Every single wee or poo that drops into the dunny must be celebrated as a glorious triumph. It goes a little something like this;

"Yay you did a poo in the toilet yaaaaay!!!!! Go and tell Mummy that you did a big poo in the toilet!!!!!"

"Mummy I did big poo in toilet! Mummy poo in toilet!!!"

Something else you have to watch out for is when they say they have gone but you can't really tell until you get them off the toilet. This time around I have been able to tell with a fair degree of confidence that a number two has made a splash down.

Every now and then he will say "Daddy I did a poo" and most of the time he hasn't. Sometimes though he will say "Duuuuurrrrrggghhhhdy ... I'm doing a poooooouuurrrrggghh!!!!!!" Coupled with a beetroot red face, I can be pretty sure we have a result.

This all works very well but I have found it to have a bit of an embarrassing side effect.

It seems that he has now taken on the position of Town Crier as far as people going to the toilet is concerned. A careful watch is kept on the toilet and any action going on in there is promptly and very loudly announced to anyone and everyone who happens to be in the house at the time.

"Daddy did a big poo in the toilet!!!!! Heyyyyyy Daddy did a big poo and wee in the toilet!!!!!" is the announcement thundering down the hall for all too hear.

I will admit however that it sometimes does not take a 2 year old's proud announcement for someone to tell that Daddy has just done a big poo in the toilet. My wife wants me to put a "Come back in 5 mins" sign on the door for these occasions.

So if you are planning on coming to my place for dinner in the near future, make sure your comings and goings from the bathroom are covert lest they be heralded to all and sundry.


Tuesday, February 24, 2004




Riot Police and Helicopters and Socialists Oh My!

Hands up who had to walk past a bus load of standby riot police, underneath the path of News Helicopters and past a group of brown shirt , spiked hair, nose ring wearing Socialists?

I did this morning. I work in Redfern.

Today is the Funeral of Thomas Hickey who was recently impaled on a fence in Redfern. Whilst many Redfern locals travelled to Walgett for the Funeral, many more stayed to hold a rally outside the Redfern Police Station just two blocks up from where I work.

I walked down to have a look at what was going on and I noticed something strange.

Whilst there were around 200 people there with the vast majority being Aboriginal, there was one other large group of people in attendance who by the look of them were quite obviosly Soccialists. (excuse the broad sweeping generalisation of brown shirt wearing, spikey haired people with no jobs)

I began to wonder what interest did the Socialists have in this issue? Whilst the death of a young man is tragic, what impact did it have on them?

I pushed this to one side as I watched the spectacle of news crews trying to get a good camera angle, the Police nervously looking on from a distance and the signs carried by all that called for a halt to Police Brutality or simply just a picture of Thomas.

I then noticed something else strange. Apart from the fact that they all seemed to be pasted onto 1 side of a carton of Victoria Bitter, they were also all exactly the same. They all seemed to be printed or photo copied from the same soucre. Then when I got closer to one, I saw that every single placard had the web address of the Socialist Alliance at the bottom of it in big letters.

Why would the Socialist Alliance be organising a rally for the death of a teenage Aboriganal?

When I saw these placards decrying Police violence, it made me want to go back the office and make my own placard. I was going to try and find the front page of the Sydney Morning Herald that showed the women being knocked over and having her hand bag stolen outside of Redfern Railway Station. I thought better of it as I doubted I would have made it back alive.

I have been working in Redfern for almost 8 years and I am yet to witness any Police Violence. Many is the time however where I have witnessed violence committed by the Aboriganal population of Redferm both against myself and others. I would concede that I would most likley not see any violence by the Police as they would hardly be doing it in the main street.

I have mentioned a few things about Redfern before in A Tale from Redfern. It is a suburb of contradictions.

At one end of Redfern there can be a rally of 200 protestors angry at the death of a local boy but only 200 metres away, groups of Metrosexuals sip $4 coffees on footpath outside a trendy cafe.

At one end Redfern families and the remnants of families sleep on the ground as they come down from the effects of illicit substances where just 500m away houses sell for close to $2 million.


Thursday, February 12, 2004




House Husband on Holidays

I will be sunning myself on the Gold Coast until Monday 23rd so in the mean time please go and have a look at all the excellent places in my links.


Monday, February 09, 2004




Compulsory Voting

Reading 85 George St this morning got me thinking once again about the Pro's and Con's of the Compulsory Voting laws we have in this country.

On the Pro side we have a system that forces you to choose someone, which in turn forces an enormous voter turn out the likes of which America and England could only dream about.

The Con side of the argument is "what if I don't want to vote for any of the candidates?"

The Pro Compulsory Voting Camp say that if you don't want to vote for anyone, just do a "Donkey vote". The problem I have with that argument is that if you are happy for them to do that and thereby throw their vote away, why should they be forced to turn up in the first place?

I know the last few times I voted, I have simply had my name crossed off the list and then thrown my voting papers in the bin as I don't believe in being forced to vote.

If you go further than that and do not even turn up to get your name crossed off the list then you will be fined $100. It is however very easy to get out of the fine by simply saying you were interstate or overseas, in a comma etc...

This actually happened to me one year in Local Council elections as I had moved but not registered in the new location. When my old Council held their elections and I did not vote, they sent me a fine which I easily got out of after explaining the situation.

But why should I have had to explain myself in the first place?


Wednesday, February 04, 2004




Say it ain't so Humphrey

What do Fat Cat, Humphrey B. Bear and Janet Jackson all have in common.

They have all been kicked off Television for being semi naked.

Yesterday saw the announcement that Humphrey B. Bear is getting the axe after a career spanning nearly 40 years.

Humphrey first hit the screens on Channel 9 Monday 24th May 1965.

I'm sure most of us can remember watching Humphrey caper around when we were young. What most of us think now however is why they hell would we have watched it in the first place?

I assume that only reason we watched it when we were kids was because there was no competition. There was no Hi 5, no Wiggles or their seedy rip offs the Holey Doleys. Just Play School, Romper Room, Fat Cat and Humphrey B. Bear.

You do get a nice feeling when your kids are watching the same show you used to watch when you were there age but when you see it as an adult, you realise that Humphrey does not do that much. In fact he does not even talk. But I suppose if he is going to sound anything like Barney the evil Dinosaur, that might be a good thing.

And so it comes to pass that the last pantsless children's character is cast aside.

Still, getting around on television for 40 years with out any pants on and not having to say anything is a pretty good trot.

I wonder where I could get a gig like that?

Farewell Humphrey B. Bear. You've earned your retirement.

I only hope that you have been saving it wisely so you won't have to resort to appearing in advertorials on Good Morning Australia like Tony Barber.

P.S. In case you ever wanted to know, the B in Humphrey B. Bear stands for Bear.


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