Saturday, September 06, 2003 |
My theories on Love, Marriage, Children and Farts [Part II]
How do you know when to get married?
So you have been in a relationship with someone for a few years and you are now beginning to wonder where to now?
Are you ready for something as big as marriage or do you want to start seeing other people? Do you want to do both so you can appear on Jerry Springer?
It is said that subjecting your partner to the remnants of last night’s dinner whilst sitting on the lounge may be an indicator of your affection, it is not however a true gauge of your willingness to commit.
There will come a time in your relationship when after a vigorous horizontal workout with the one you love, you will have the urge to let one go. There are few places more sacred than under the bed sheets after you have made love. You may find however that you are still asking yourself the question “Should I or shouldn’t I?”
This is the test.
To let it go is a major indication that you are ready to be married. The reaction of the other person will also indicate their readiness to commit for life.
So you decide to let it rip, roll the dice and let the chips fall where they may.
If upon discovery you are thrown out of the bedroom to sleep the night on the lounge followed by threats that the next time you will be “hiding the sausage” Nikki Webster will be able to vote, then maybe your partner is not as ready to commit to marriage as you are.
If on the other hand your bedroom bugling is ignored or better yet return volleyed, you can then feel relatively safe in popping the question.
The answer is more likely to be an excited and in some cases a relived “Yes” rather than a relationship destroying “I’ll have to think about it, can you give me some time” or worse still a big fat “No.”
You can then begin the wedding preparations at once. Well at least the woman can as we all know men have absolutely nothing to do with planing a wedding other than to actually turn up on time in at least a semi lucid state.
Of course this theory is a little difficult to put into practice if you usually fall asleep straight after sex. This would however indicate that you are probably already married.
And what about kids?
There is an old saying that was as true then as it is today.
“Kids are like farts. You can handle your own if you have to but other people’s are a little too much”
How do you know when to get married?
So you have been in a relationship with someone for a few years and you are now beginning to wonder where to now?
Are you ready for something as big as marriage or do you want to start seeing other people? Do you want to do both so you can appear on Jerry Springer?
It is said that subjecting your partner to the remnants of last night’s dinner whilst sitting on the lounge may be an indicator of your affection, it is not however a true gauge of your willingness to commit.
There will come a time in your relationship when after a vigorous horizontal workout with the one you love, you will have the urge to let one go. There are few places more sacred than under the bed sheets after you have made love. You may find however that you are still asking yourself the question “Should I or shouldn’t I?”
This is the test.
To let it go is a major indication that you are ready to be married. The reaction of the other person will also indicate their readiness to commit for life.
So you decide to let it rip, roll the dice and let the chips fall where they may.
If upon discovery you are thrown out of the bedroom to sleep the night on the lounge followed by threats that the next time you will be “hiding the sausage” Nikki Webster will be able to vote, then maybe your partner is not as ready to commit to marriage as you are.
If on the other hand your bedroom bugling is ignored or better yet return volleyed, you can then feel relatively safe in popping the question.
The answer is more likely to be an excited and in some cases a relived “Yes” rather than a relationship destroying “I’ll have to think about it, can you give me some time” or worse still a big fat “No.”
You can then begin the wedding preparations at once. Well at least the woman can as we all know men have absolutely nothing to do with planing a wedding other than to actually turn up on time in at least a semi lucid state.
Of course this theory is a little difficult to put into practice if you usually fall asleep straight after sex. This would however indicate that you are probably already married.
And what about kids?
There is an old saying that was as true then as it is today.
“Kids are like farts. You can handle your own if you have to but other people’s are a little too much”
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