Monday, September 22, 2003 |
Country Gates and Male Toilets
There is a saying in the country "Never leave a gate open and never close an open gate."
A simpler philosophy can be applied when using male public toilets. "Never open a closed dunny".
As most women know, men have a gene which hinders their ability to put the seat down on toilets after they have used it. For this reason, coming across a toilet in a male bathroom with the seat AND the lid down is a strange occurrence indeed warranting extreme caution.
This phenomenon is caused by another little known gene found only in men. The effects of this gene are not widely known to women unless they have had the misfortune to clean male public toilets.
There are really only two things to do in a public toilet or 3 if you are George Michael (I'll leave the gruesome details up to your imagination). This gene has to do with number 2.
After "building a log cabin", flushing the toilet and looking back to check everything is "all clear", most blokes will not stick around if there happens to be a delinquent floater, refusing to travel with the rest of the pack. In fact rather than wait around for thirty seconds to flush the toilet again, they will instead close the lid before making a hasty exit thinking that this action has somehow absolved them of their dirty little transgression.
It is not hard to imagine what it's going to be like under that toilet lid in a few hours which is why it is good advice to steer clear of it. The problem is further compounded by the fact that no other male will flush it either, rather that it sit there like a marker of territory not to be touched for fear of reprisal.
Thankfully this rarely happens in the home environment, as unlike sneaking out a stealthy fart, it is a little hard to blame it on the dog.
There is a saying in the country "Never leave a gate open and never close an open gate."
A simpler philosophy can be applied when using male public toilets. "Never open a closed dunny".
As most women know, men have a gene which hinders their ability to put the seat down on toilets after they have used it. For this reason, coming across a toilet in a male bathroom with the seat AND the lid down is a strange occurrence indeed warranting extreme caution.
This phenomenon is caused by another little known gene found only in men. The effects of this gene are not widely known to women unless they have had the misfortune to clean male public toilets.
There are really only two things to do in a public toilet or 3 if you are George Michael (I'll leave the gruesome details up to your imagination). This gene has to do with number 2.
After "building a log cabin", flushing the toilet and looking back to check everything is "all clear", most blokes will not stick around if there happens to be a delinquent floater, refusing to travel with the rest of the pack. In fact rather than wait around for thirty seconds to flush the toilet again, they will instead close the lid before making a hasty exit thinking that this action has somehow absolved them of their dirty little transgression.
It is not hard to imagine what it's going to be like under that toilet lid in a few hours which is why it is good advice to steer clear of it. The problem is further compounded by the fact that no other male will flush it either, rather that it sit there like a marker of territory not to be touched for fear of reprisal.
Thankfully this rarely happens in the home environment, as unlike sneaking out a stealthy fart, it is a little hard to blame it on the dog.
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