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The Good Ol' Days


Tuesday, September 09, 2003




It's a different world from 9 to 5

I feel I need to alert everyone of a phenomenon that occurs every weekday between he hours of 9 to 5 in shopping centres all over Australia.

If ever you find yourself out and about in your local shops during the week you will notice something quite startling.

There are no men.

Anywhere.

It's as if the frequent retort to men's come on lines "Not if you were the last guy on earth", has come true.

Walking into a Westfield shopping centre during the day really does feel as if I am the last man on earth.

It is something akin to some sort of post apocalyptic nightmare where only the elderly and young mothers have survived. Almost as if their walking frames and prams have offered some sort of protection from the blast wave and radiation dispensed by nuclear weapons detonated by an evil Feminist Empire.

Very much the outsider and feeling quite out of place for not having my own stroller, pram, walking frame or little floral patterned shopping trolley to wheel behind me, I cautiously make my way to the hardware store or some other male refuge.

Some days I bring my own kids in a stroller in attempt to disguise myself and fit in. It works to some extent however I am only grudgingly accepted, similarly to Sigourney Weaver being slowly accepted into the Mountain Gorilla Family in "Gorillas in the Mist".

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